Francesca Ruffini.Time well spent.

A day with her takes you out of the ordinary. Not just because of the breathtaking Como landscapes and the way she arranged her life there, but primarily due to the full, uninterrupted attention she gives you, her curiosity and wisdom. The simplest things – that are the most precious.

Sit down with your afternoon espresso and join me on a journey of introspection and inspiration with Francesca Ruffini Stoppani, the visionary behind For Restless Sleepers, a philanthropist fundraising for oncologic children, an art collector, a pilates lover – and so much more – as she shares her unique perspective on life, balance and craftsmanship. Explore the timeless learnings of a restless observer and dreamer. And the one most important thing she has learned with age.

You start your day looking at water, taking the time to reflect. What’s on your mind, recently?

Francesca Ruffini Stoppani (FRS): I must say I’m reflective by nature, I think a lot, and looking at the water brings me peace, but I immediately start thinking about those who lose peace due to greater forces acting against every human right with immense brutality.

Do you see it as a curse or a blessing, this sensitivity, empathy?

FRS: A few years ago, a book written by the Korean philosopher Byung Chul Han, “Psycho-Politics,” helped me understand how dominant powers operate by directly targeting the human psyche and reaching its unconscious part. It is difficult to express my point of view, but empathy towards the victims of all this certainly prevails. 

As a woman, you embody various roles in your life. Being a mother to adult sons, a daughter, a partner, a business owner, an artist, a philanthropist – each role requires different sensitivities and skill sets. How do you balance between these diverse responsibilities and expectations?

FRS: They are all roles that deeply reflect my inner self and give me the joy of being myself always and regardless. I’ve always had the propensity to take care of others since I was a child; it makes me feel good. The serenity and happiness of my sons are my priority, and the beautiful relationship I have with them and their partners leaves me speechless. My work was a dream I had tucked away for many years, and philanthropy, finally, born from my encounter with Professor Umberto Veronesi, opened up a new world to me and gave great meaning to my life. In the end, it’s not difficult at all, it’s very natural.

What are you most proud of?

FRS: I believe it’s achieving inner balance, being happy with who I am, never changing despite the numerous trials life has inevitably subjected me to, and above all, being able to be moved every day, even by the little things. It means seizing the moment and fully living the multiple elements that compose it.

It sounds a lot like the Japanese phrase „itchi-go ichi-e”, connected with the philosophy of tea brewing, which in literal translation means „one time, one meeting”. When you share a cup of tea with someone, it’s so much more than just a beverage and a conversation or silence. It embraces seizing the moment, appreciating the uniqueness of the people and the entire situation connected with it. For me, it holds a deeper significance than „carpe diem”, which is typically associated with living in the moment in a hedonistic way.

FRS: I absolutely agree, and I couldn’t have found a better way to express it.

I see you as a highly sensible, hardworking and persistent yet without the negative aspects of stress. How do you cultivate your ease and grace?

FRS: I think it’s a gift of nature; I’ve always been this way. I recently had a correspondence with my elementary school teacher, who reminded me of being a serene child, even though thoughtful. She was the one who made me understand the word “sphinx” because despite everything, she said that behind my smiling eyes, my thoughts were not as clear, but I always conveyed positivity to my classmates. And that was a sort of teaching because I immediately understood that the serenity I conveyed made the people around me feel good, and that in turn made me feel good.

Can you share some constant elements of your day, that make it a good day?

FRS: As soon as I wake up, I love spending at least half an hour in bed, reading the newspapers. I like to write down the thoughts that come to my mind and organize my photo library because I take many photos every day, but then I am obsessed with cataloging them into albums that make it easier for me to search when I want to review them or use them for work. I drink a large glass of celery juice and after 20 minutes, I have breakfast, which for me is a real ritual. I practice Pilates, and after the shower, I take care of my skin, another indispensable ritual because I hardly ever use makeup and I’m not inclined to unnatural interventions; I like to have a natural and well-groomed appearance. I go to the office daily where I manage all my activities. I dedicate the evenings to reading (one of my great passions) and often watch films on Mubi.

You mention celery juice, popularized by Anthony William (Medical Medium). Who else are you looking at for health, longevity and wellbeing advice or guidance?

FRS: Of course, Professor Umberto Veronesi was my great mentor. Another doctor I follow is David A. Sinclair.

You founded your company, For Restless Sleepers, in 2014. What inspired you to venture into luxury pajamas? Was it about creating comfortable attire for home or for occasions like dinner parties, where FRS pieces could also be worn?

FRS: Ever since I was a child, the first thing I did when I got home was to put on classic men’s pajamas; the feeling of comfort that doesn’t compromise elegance was priceless. I wanted to share this feeling with others, so I created a collection focused on pajamas but wearable outside the home as well. After all, it’s such a versatile piece, a set composed of pants and a shirt that can be worn in various ways, for different occasions, and not necessarily together.

The comfort plays the first violin, but I associate pajamas with something more, something very personal, where the feeling of naked skin and delicate fabric creates this intimate, or even more one could say sensual, relationship, that if taken outside the privacy of our home may seem controversial. However, you present it as a natural element of celebrating life and oneself. It sounds so simple, yet I believe people – count me in – tend to overthink. Are there other elements of life that you think may benefit from this kind of simplifying approach?

FRS: I believe that sensuality and the approaches that stem from it go far beyond a piece of clothing. Personally, I perceive it in glances, gestures, in connecting with oneself and others on an alternative channel where different energies flow. It all leads back to one’s own being; each of us is capable of deriving multiple benefits, but simplified approaches manifest only in the naturalness of one’s self.

You have both creative and business background. You attended the local high school dedicated to fabric design here, in Como, you pursued studies in economics and marketing. Now, your pattern ideas are transformed into exclusive silks by local fabricators, and a local atelier meticulously sews the garments. What does the process look like from the moment the idea forms in your mind? Which aspects are handled by you and where do you defer to the expertise of others?

FRS: There are two distinct processes, one concerning the designs of prints or jacquards and the other the modeling of the garments. Starting with the designs, we have a designer who executes the drawings following my instructions. Once the basic design is set and repeated, the phase of variants begins, the most delicate of all because I am obsessed with colors and the perfect shades they must have if they are present in the same design. Sometimes we make over 10 attempts before approving a variant. As for the patterns, we have an external pattern maker who prepares the basics starting from our sketches. Once ready, we send them to the garment factories to prepare the prototype garment. As soon as we receive it, we correct it if necessary, and once approved, I wear it all day to make sure it meets all the essential requirements for comfort, both in movement and sitting positions. Finally, when all the print designs are done and the new patterns defined and approved, I work on the actual collection by combining the designs with the patterns.

Your brand challenges traditional perceptions of pajamas, focusing on elegance and individuality. While your designs may appear simple, the use of luxurious, haute couture fabrics elevates them beyond traditional pajamas. Is this style of dressing intended for everyone? Who is your typical client? How do you ensure that your unique approach resonates with them?

FRS: I consider people’s individuality a distinctive element; the boundaries dictated by fashion have always been too restrictive for me. Regardless of the garment you wear, you must always be recognized for who you are. With this premise, my intent is perhaps a bit provocative; I try to encourage women to feel confident, to wear clothes that make them feel unique, and to keep them for years. This is why quality is an obsession of mine. Through prints, I always use my language; the client who understands it, even before seeing the brand label, already knows it’s FRS, and that is definitely the customer to whom I ideally address myself.

As an advocate for craftsmanship, quality and uncompromising approach, how do you uphold these principles in both your professional endeavors and personal life?

FRS: I am obsessed with this, to the point that every time a production order returns, the garments cannot be assigned to customers until I have tried them on. I prefer to put a garment in the second choice even if it has imperceptible imperfections, rather than lower the perceived quality. The same happens in my personal life, from food shopping to the choice of products I use for myself, the music I listen to, the books I read, the movies I watch, to how I set the table, even if I’m alone, it’s like I create a comfort zone where I find my balance.

You are a collector of figurative books for over 30 years, with the oldest one dating back to the first decades of the 20^th century, some of them you inherited from your father-in-law. You continuously expand your collection with new positions, discovered in bookstores and vintage fairs all around the world. Do you have a favorite pattern among your collections and does it hold any special significance or influence on your journey?

FRS: The classic men’s pajamas is and will always remain an indispensable piece in my journey.

Where does the inspiration come from for a specific print or collection? Are the prints and collections corelated with certain periods in you life or specific significant impulses that incentivize you to create?

FRS: It’s always a work in progress, starting from an inspiration, sometimes linked to moments in life, other times to something completely different. But the process changes along the way. We often say, “one thing leads to another,” and that’s exactly it. That’s why you will never find a mood board in my work; in the end, it conditions you too much and leaves less room for your free expression.

Your prints, constructions and even photo shoot stylizations are imitated by the biggest fashion houses and retail chains. How do you feel about the copycats? Do you consider them a challenge or an opportunity? What strategies do you employ to maintain the uniqueness of FRS?

FRS: I am happy to have been a pioneer of a path that later many others followed.

Your involvement with the Veronesi Foundation demonstrates your commitment to philanthropy and education. Again here, as in all of your endeavors, you approach the topic from a different perspective, organizing charity dinners at Teatro Sociale in Como with acclaimed chefs – you have hosted Gualtiero Marchesi, Davide Oldani, Carlo Cracco, Chicco Cerea and Antonio Guida– who exclusively use healthy ingredients and healthy cuisine, with the aim of breaking the stereotype that what is healthy is not tasty. In this way, you promote the topic of preventive health measures. What motivates you personally in this endeavor? What is your personal “why”?”

FRS: If each of us were aware that prevention could reduce the risk of cancer by 50%, undoubtedly many habits would change, and numerous false myths would fall. Unfortunately, nowadays with the advancement of technology, our brains are bombarded with a very high amount of information, few of which become real food for thought, and consequently, dissemination must find more tangible channels to touch people’s sensibility. This is why I thought of creating a kind of model that could transmit information with concrete examples, capable of debunking common misconceptions.

My “why”? I lost my dad in a few months, and I spent long periods in pediatric oncology wards. I often wonder if my dad had done that test earlier, maybe he would still be with us; his family has always been very long-lived… As for pediatric oncology, since during the dinner, in addition to dissemination, there is an important fundraising, I decided to allocate all the proceeds from the Como delegation, which I opened 10 years ago, to the “Gold for kids” project. This project aims to cover the costs of care protocols dedicated to children with cancer, increasing the chances of recovery/healing and improving the quality of life of the young patients.

You are very conscious about your health and well-being. I know you’ve been drinking celery juice first thing in the morning for six years now. What other practices or habits keep you in good physical and mental health?

FRS: A healthy diet, plenty of exercise, and an annual check-up are at the core, although I believe another essential element for your health is feeling good about yourself; otherwise, you risk suffering physical reactions due to somatization.

You once said: „React with energy to what’s happening today“. Could you elaborate further on the significance of this wisdom?

FRS: I firmly believe that positive energy is a vital element in our daily lives, and it defines the quality of your life and the people close to you. It is the engine that drives us to be a better person and helps us face life in another dimension. It seems easy to say and less easy to put into practice, but believe me, it’s not, because even in difficult moments, it helps you read the lessons you hadn’t yet understood in life and react with even more strength than before.

What is the one most precious lesson, you’ve learnt with age?

FRS: The art of joy.